Stepping Out.

Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing.

Helen Keller

Jumping out of an airplane. Deep sea diving. Hitchhiking across the country. Opening several businesses. Cliff jumping. Learning to do a back-flip. Writing a book. Spending a month in Paris. Swimming with dolphins. Taking a year off to do nothing but travel and see the world.

Just a few of the things I will accomplish in my life.

Some of my favorite words:
Reckless. Passion. Life. Inspire. Abandon. Jump. Adventure. Love. Experience.

Things i love. 
 The ocean. sun. open air. thunder storms. fresh cut grass. driving fast. brainstorming. 
lists. planning. meeting new people. art. books. new places.

I love life. I love the good and I learn from the bad.
Life is too short to waste so i'm not going to.

I am happy with what I have accomplished at almost 30 and I know God hadn't even scratched the surface with what He has planned for my life.

One of my favorite things to dream about is my coffee shop...
Amazing coffee, endless books, comfy couches, wine, writer's nights, open mic, art shows, and an incredible atmosphere that cultivates creativity and thinking.

When I am lacking inspiration, I go look at empty buildings. Open space. Endless possibilities. Destroyed walls. Freedom.

Anybody else feel like following their dream now? 

I do.

Love.

Love to some is a little cottage with a wraparound porch that has a cozy swing for two, perfect for steaming, fresh brewed coffee with the perfect amount of cream in the misty morning light. The overflowing flower pots bursting with color, and plush grass that's a little too long. I can only imagine that the inside of the home is filled with love. A king sized bed and fluffy pillows that you and your love sink into at the end of the day and don't want to leave in the early morning light. It has windows everywhere that let in the light from the sun or moon. A room just for books with a winding staircase and cozy couches for afternoon naps. A giant kitchen with an island and a huge wooden table for large family dinners that always has a fresh bouquet of flowers from the garden. 

To others its the quaint areas of town that draw the free-spirits. Funky coffee shops filled with personality and fabulous coffee, abstract art covering the walls, and destroyed brick walls. The little clothing boutiques, fresh food markets, hippie shops, kids playing in the front yard, couples walking their dogs and a sense of community you don't feel anywhere else. 

To others it's creative freedom. Painting, writing, touching. It the feeling of abandon you get when you touch the person you love. It's getting lost running your hands through their hair or tracing their face. Its the contented sigh of feeding your creative side. It's dreaming of places you want to go, and things you want to do. It's making lists, plans, and brainstorming.

It's passion. Period. If you don't have passion you aren't really living. 

 

What's the point?

I am in the mood to write! YAY!

As silly as that sounds and as much as I love to write, I haven't felt like doing it in months.

I took a walk with the kids earlier and a cool spring breeze was blowing, it felt so good, so peaceful. I filled my lungs with a couple of deep breaths and enjoyed the feeling of briskly moving my body, feeling my heart rate increase. I do my best thinking when I walk.

I started thinking about what my purpose was. What drives me, motivates me, makes me want to keep striving?

The answer? I have no idea.

I know I have a purpose. A plan. I know I am on the right track but I am stumbling over the why. I believe the things you are passionate about, lead you to your purpose. It's the things that get your blood flowing that make getting out of bed in the morning worth it.

I had a conversation over the weekend with a friend about creative outlets and ways to express passion. He had several that he could list off the top of his head and I was so envious. I don't have that. I have tried painting, drawing, writing, dancing. I am not good at any of those things.

Do you ever have that "fire in your stomach, heart beating fast, gonna scream or go crazy if you can't let it out" feeling?

I get it a lot. When I talk about the future of the gym, when I walk past an empty building, when I think about opening my coffee shop/bookstore, when I think about traveling, training, learning.

The problem is I don't have a way to express the passion. Even this. Writing, which I love doesn't fully do it justice.

How do I go about finding the outlets that I KNOW God placed in me?

Do I just keep walking it out and wait?

It isn't frustrating. Or I should say, I am not allowing it to frustrate me, but i was thinking about it and wanted to get it on paper hoping this will help me process the issue.

Am I alone in this or are there other people out there who have been through the same thing?